Thanks to wetpaint.com for compiling a list of my quotes thus far.
An episode of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills without a snappy Lisa quip is like a day without sunshine. Her witty take on the crazy drama is the best reason to tune in! So here are Lisa’s funniest, boldest lines from the entire season so far (although picking our favorites was kinda like ranking our own children). Because Lisa is like movie-theatre popcorn — we just can’t get enough!
10. The husbands didn’t seem to mind (Episode 1.3)
Lisa: Camille’s dancing was, like… she was really shaking it and moving it. I think all that’s missing was a pole, really.
9. Lisa is crestfallen (Episode 1.7)
Lisa (about Cedric): I was very disappointed to see that under all that dynamite, there’s like a two-inch fuse.
8. Kim finds her happy place (Episode 1.1)
Lisa: It was all good fun, but Kim seemed much more reserved and much more on the outside. Maybe she went back to Witch Mountain.
7. Can we borrow those books? (Episode 1.3)
Lisa: Taylor was playing with that cotton candy. She was kind of licking it and chewing it. Doing things that I had only read about in books.
6. If at first you don’t succeed… well, maybe you should just give up (Episode 1.7)
Lisa (about Kim): Should she get married again? I don’t know. She’s tried it three times — maybe she’s not much good at it.
5. Everyone has different dreams (Episode 1.1)
Kyle: Here’s to hoping my boob doesn’t fall out.
Lisa: Here’s to the exact opposite.
4. Let’s face it: just about anyone could hold their own with Kim. (Episode 1.7)
Taylor: Can he hold his own?
Lisa: Does he have to hold his own? That’s why he’s meeting Kim, isn’t it? So he doesn’t have to!
3. What does he get on his half-birthday? (Episode 1.1)
Lisa: My husband calls me a sex object. He says every time he wants sex, I object. I say to him, you know what? Christmas and birthdays. And it’s your birthday, not mine; it’s another day off.
2. Russell’s not feeling the love (Episode 1.3)
Lisa (about Russell): I mean, Taylor’s a bright, vivacious, attractive woman. Evidently, opposites attract.
1. Lisa should leave the matchmaking to someone else (Episode 1.6)
Lisa (about setting Kim up): I actually have somebody in mind, but he’s — actually, he’s still behind bars.
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